I prescribe to the theory that life is an adventure and should be treated as such. I am also a high-maintenance diva. While it might seem that these are two opposing viewpoints, I maintain that I, as a diva, can still suck as much marrow out of life as possible--so long as I can look cute while doing so. It's really not that hard. Especially when I get a daily heads-up about life via my horoscope. Each morning I awake to find my daily predictions waiting for me on my cell phone. While I don't always believe them to be true, it's good to be on the lookout in case karma decides favor me unfortunately. Lately, though, I think the cosmos (or the astrology writers working for my cell phone company) have taken a bit of a mental vacation. Or they've taken a cue from K-Dub and are hitting the vino a bit too much. Here are some of my more amusing text horoscopes from the past couple of months:

• Well, aren't you shinier than a bright new penny! And worth a whole lot more! (I can almost feel the cynicism leaking from their pores. And yes, I recognize that I'm a precious member of society, but thanks for the reminder!)
• You're unique. There's not a single person who's just like you. Yep, you're special. (Did my snarky posse' of friends write this?)
• You're sweet like honey and just as natural. you smell good, but rather sticky. (Ok, this just sounds like bad romance novel drivel.)
• You're good but don't showoff. Showing off isn't good. And you are good. Get it? (Is that a theoretical question? To go along with your circular logic? Did a first year philosophy student hijack Horoscope Central?)
• You are irresistable. More irresistable than a flower or a good game of football. (I'd like to thank whichever William McKinley High School football player came up with that compliment.)
• This is the day for some, how to put it, um, mm: love. And you're really into someone. (I would like to note that I just transcribed this word-for-word from my cell phone. If that is what love will be like--all umm-y and mmm-y, then I think I'm fine being a single lady, thankyouverymuch.)
• For a celebrity sighting look in the mirror! You're a star--and you know it! (Well, duh.)

And my personal favorite:

• Relaxing is good. Rainbows are good. Rollerblades aren't bad. Romance is good. Rad! (Again, this is exactly what showed up on my cell phone, transcribed word for word. I like how it sounds like a bad haiku, a page from my second-grade diary and dialogue from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles all rolled into one awesome text.)

Perhaps the stars are telling me to put a kibosh on the daily astrological heads-up. But if that's the message they're trying to send, then they need to try harder because with gems like these, I will never EVER unsubscribe. Ever. Because, like my friendship with K-Dub and my ever-growing obsession with Glee, daily horoscopes? They're rad.

Be dazzled

My life is far too crazy to post anything legitimate or reflective so for the moment I'll just leave the world with this lovely little text exchange I had with my friend earlier today...

Friend: What size ring do you wear?
Me: It depends on the finger, but generally a size 8.
Friend: Do you like big stones?
Me: I like anything shiny. You know this!
Friend: Ok good. I got you a present!
Me: WHEEEEEE!'

The lesson to take from this? I like presents and shiny things. This is not new news, but I feel it's worth repeating in case anyone else is feeling generous.

KP: A personal summary in a two-minute scene

Note: I'm fully disclosing that this was originally posted on my personal blog. I figure it's entertaining enough and telling enough to post here. More original material to follow, we promise.

Scene: entrance of the local grocery store
Time: 4 pm on a Sunday
Characters:
Krissy - uber-dork, uber-crabby to be spending her weekend doing one of her least favorite chores
Hot newspaper guy - well-dressed, well-groomed, friendly, amazing smile

Hot newspaper guy: Hi! Do you want a free paper?
Krissy: Um, yeah! Woohooo! Free stuff!
Hot newspaper guy: Ha! Haha? How often do you read the paper?
Krissy: Whenever it's free.
Hot newspaper guy: Ummm...ok. That it?
Krissy: I have a busy job--I don't have time to read a newspaper.
Hot newspaper guy: (looks sad) ...
Hot newspaper guy: Is your job fun at least? Hopefully it's fun.
Krissy: Ooh, it's SUPER-FUN!!! (gives thumbs up)
Krissy: (spots giant boxes of Corn Pops on sale) OoohOOOH! *scampers off to grab cold cereal*


It wasn't until I was well into the produce section that I realized he may have been trying to flirt with me and I scared him away with my thumbs up and Corn Pops enthusiasm.

Woohoo!!

Finally!! Our co-blogging dream has come true! Time to share with the world all that we hold near and dear to us, which consists mostly of Glee, cheese, and wine. This will no doubt result in a negative following, but who cares. We are our biggest fans!