In Conclusion? I need to be famous

It's that most charming time of year. When Target rolls out pallets of blank, shiny notebooks and packages of multicolored pens and highlighters. When colorful backpacks take over endcaps and entire aisles and lunchboxes dot shelves. When I dash down the aisles sqealing "wheee!" because I love new school and office supplies so much. It's back-to-school time! Hurrah!

Now, it doesn't matter that I'm not in school anymore. I can always find a use for shiny paper clips, cute notebooks and more blue pens. Sadly, my back-to-school glee has been slightly dampened by the fact that I work in education, so this time of year isn't so much spent buying sparkling new notebooks as much as praying that I can get everything done in preparation for the school year. So I'm a little stressed right now. And while I could use new pens and cute paperclips, I need far more than that right now. Below, is a list of things I could use more than school supplies at the moment:

• A massage. For, like, five hours. Hell, I need an on-call masseuse.
• A case of Riesling. Or a vineyard so I could access all the wine I'd need to help e relax at night.
• A new haircut and color. My hair is all split end-y and the color is a cross between rust and puke. I need a salon appointment STAT. Or an on-call stylist.
• An assistant to take care of all of the detail-work that needs to happen by mid-month.

Upon looking at this list, I realize that while some of these things might be reasonable, overall I sound like a high-maintenance diva. And I am. But this list of wants rivals Mariah Carey's rider for her concert tour (minus the M&Ms request, which is just ridic). Perhaps I should work more on my diva skills so I can have my demands met and less on my impending and huge workload. Or maybe I should stop making lists of things that would make me very happy and tackle the to-do list that looms over me. But that doesn't sound as fun. And besides--I LIKE being a diva. Now...where's my wine?!?