Eat, Pray, and Go Away!

So maybe I am shallow. Or maybe I am just cranky (ok, there’s really no question about that), but I get annoyed by overly introspective people who have the need to “find” themselves. This is why I love and hate the book Eat, Pray, Love. It’s a well-written memoir with a plot that, to some extent, we can all relate to. For those who haven't read the book, it's about a woman who reached her breaking point and took a year to travel to Italy, India, and Indonesia to find herself, and along the way did a lot of eating, praying, and a little loving. Hence the title. Who hasn’t reached a boiling point in life and wanted to run away for awhile? I’ve been there more than once. But the whole “Who am I?” crap just wears on my last nerve. Just look in the mirror. Surprise!! THAT’S who you are. Do you really need to go see a guru in India to figure yourself out? And the only thing you are going to find by eating your way through Italy is that you’ve doubled in size. The real you is not hidden under that 20th bowl of pasta you are about to gorge on. But maybe that’s the secret to the Olive Garden’s success … just a bunch of lost souls trying to find themselves via ravioli.

I know, I know, it’s all about the emotional journey. I get it. Some people need to see what else is out there; to put all their troubles behind them and start anew. A fresh start can indeed change one's life. But life shouldn't be so hard to figure out. I’ve had my share of hell, but one thing I know for sure is who I am. I am comfortable in my own skin and couldn’t care less what people think about me. Maybe I should care, but that would require more effort than I am willing to exert. I guess I am lucky in that sense, and I didn’t even have to join a commune or run off with some guy named Luigi Spaghetti to figure it all out. If I do ever lose myself and need to find my center, I will just get some Ben and Jerry’s, pray to the sports gods, and love my husband some more. That’s pretty much my life anyway, and so far it’s working just fine. Ciao.

*As a side note - if you really need to go on a spiritual journey, save yourself an expensive plane ticket and go pray to the "Big Butter Jesus" statue in Ohio. (Disclaimer to cover my ass: I mean no disrespect to the religious types, and I did not make this name up. The statue is affectionately known by Ohioans as "Big Butter Jesus" because of its textural resemblance to butter. But I like to call him by his other name, "Touchdown Jesus." If you have ever driven on I-75 through southern Ohio, you know exactly what I am talking about.) If you choose to take this journey, just be warned - you might learn more about yourself than you would by going to India. It's Ohio, after all - home of William McKinley High School (gratuitous Glee reference) and Lima Beans. Plus, you will have an awesome picture to post on your blog!

TOUCHDOWN!! Amen.